First, let me mention that my first novel, Absinthe Eyes & Other Lies, will be released by Noble Romance Publishing on Monday, September 7th. It’s dark, edgy and brutally erotic. It’s a romance that spans the ages in the space of 95 pages.
To read an excerpt, blurb or see what other authors have to say about this book, check out the Noble Expressions blog:
http://nobleexpressions.wordpress.com/
I’ll be talking more about my book once it has been released. For now, I must admit that I’m as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don’t know what to expect. I need a distraction. So, on to the topic of my first blog:
Defining Romance
In Literature and in Modern Society
As a writer, I feel that I have achieved romance when I’ve established that hero and heroine couldn’t imagine life without one another; or keep their hands off each other. That’s my opinion. It’s subjective. There are other opinions.
Recently a fellow author, Bryl Tyne, received a rather mixed review on his short story Best Unspoken. In the reviewer’s opinion it was hot, but it was not romance. He was less than pleased with that appraisal of his work, and understandably so. It was, at best, a back-handed compliment.
I can relate. I’m in the middle of a short story, Gunmetal Blue. I have become painfully aware that you can only pack so much romance into a short story and still leave room for solid plot and steamy sexual encounters.
I hope that this was the ‘flaw’ the reviewer saw in Bryl’s story. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if that opinion didn’t transcend defining romance in literature. Was it reflective of the way modern society views same sex couples and coupling? Do we still believe that such unions are strictly a matter of physical gratification? Do we labor under the delusion that two men, or two women, can’t really love one another the way a man and a woman do?
I grew up in an America where homosexuality was the ultimate taboo. It was grounds for denial of employment, housing, insurance, even the right to adopt. Over the years, our attitude to a great many things slowly changed. It seemed that attitudes toward gays changed more gradually than others.
Even during the height of the activist era, many of us found it difficult to embrace the cause of gay rights. It was risky. If you stood up for black rights, or women’s rights no one would accuse you of being black or being a woman. But if you stood up for gay rights, you risked being branded with the scarlet Q. Lord knows, you couldn’t afford that.
That was then, and we’ve come a long way since then. We like to think that we have matured into a more tolerant society. Still, every four years the uber-conservatives roll out the gay marriage issue and it becomes a referendum on how we view romance in modern society.
A curious anomaly always springs to life in the polls. Most Americans don’t think there’s anything wrong with gay relationships. Most Americans don’t think that gays should be allowed to marry. Isn’t marriage a logical culmination of love and romance? In denying gays the right to marry, aren’t we saying that their unions aren’t real love, that they don’t meet the criteria for true romance?
We’re a tolerant society, but that particular issue seems to stretch the limits of our tolerance.
As a writer of dark fantasy I’m always on the prowl for disturbing words. I think tolerance is a very disturbing word. I tolerate the tropical storms that plague south Florida six months each year. If I could make them go away, I would. I tolerate my neighbor’s loud music. If it wasn’t illegal I’d go next door and shove that damned stereo where the sun doesn’t shine.
Tolerance isn’t acceptance. It’s not even an adequate substitute. As a society we’ve come a long way. We’ve got a long way left to go.
Just a thought; and a mildly inebriated one, as it were.
Y’all have a nice day. Thanks for stopping by, and do drop in again.
grbretz
Delightfully Disturbing Daydreams
Forget tolerance. What we all need is respect. If you respect another person, then no matter what they are or how they think, you will accept that and RESPECT it. It doesn’t mean you have to embrace it, but denying people anything because they don’t do or think like you do, is flat out wrong. And for all those people who hate gays in the name of god, that’s the antithesis of Christianity. Christ never preached hatred for anyone.
Guess what? He practiced the ultimate respect for others.
Thanks for your comment, Pat. I couldn’t agree more. Human beings are inherently worthy of respect. It is, as you pointed out, a God given right.
grbretz
Good luck in understanding the incomprehensible, Glenn. I never have.
On another note, thanks for the stance on Best Unspoken, but I think my interpretation of the review in question may differ from yours.
Perhaps, the reviewer took issue, as you elaborate, but my thoughts are that the reviewer has trouble accepting relationship dynamics apart from those of fairy tales. I know many want fantastical romances of undying devotion and unimaginable adventure in their reads. I’m sorry, while that is touching, I cannot suspend belief, nor do I wish to lose touch with reality to that extreme. To me, that would liken hours, maybe years, of window shopping aware your pockets are empty and always will be… What a waste of time, a waste of life. Personally, I’d rather experience the unimaginable. It’s so much more exciting.
Perhaps, in the reviewer’s eyes, no one could love a man like Levi, who views sex outside the relationship for what it is–just sex. And most would be wary, at best, of Rob, a seemingly unassuming man, of great intelligence and quiet disposition, whose only need is to be accepted without bias. Best Unspoken is a romance, though obscured in realism; the two men do love each other, very much so.
Despite how society justifies relationships, romance…love, I will continue to pen tales with my flawed and rabidly horny, yet very much in love, characters.
It matters not to me what others think (I lie). But I’ll accept the attention, good or bad–That’s respect.
I’m left to wonder, what reaction your Absinthe Eyes and Other Lies will receive. Delightfully Disturbing, such an appropriate tagline, Glenn, for such exotic work. Your stories are unique, your writing, beautiful. I wish you much success.
~Bryl
This is still a subject that has people up in arms. I was focused on what I was taught growing up. Then, as I got out in the big bad world and felt the loneliness of my youth, I searched for love. When I met love and got romance, I rejoiced.
A funny wonderful friend/co-worker told me he was gay. First part of me said back away, but then old feelings of loneliness burst forth. I never wanted that again. So I accepted his choice. We never had to deal into one another’s lives outside of work–never had really—so I didn’t have to give up anything or face this issue on a personal level…. until about 5 years ago, when my best friend admitted she was a bi-sexual. My whole world changed. What was I to do? Deny her friendship? I couldn’t.
Yes, I know that God’s plan is for man and woman to be mates for one another. Yes and to populate the world, and live in his awesome world. The bible even says that it is an abomination, but how? Why? What is so awful about true love? The kind that makes you feel good, you hold dear, you protect your love with your life. Alexander the Great condoned that lifestyle believing if you lay with the man at night, you would protect him in battle.
Any way back to my friend. It wasn’t until she and I talked it over, good and bad, that I came to the conclusion of what I felt all along.
This world is a cold, evil and screwed up place. Find love and compassion where it can be found. Don’t ever settle for the what if’s, or the maybe later. Love is waiting for you, but don’t look for it. In time, it will come.
Hi Glenn,
What a can of worms this is. I’m going to simply say that to me, anyone who forms a relationship with another person, or persons, and is happy with said relationship, should be completely respected. As an old married lady, I know how difficult it can be to make it work. Why anyone would put obstacles in the way by saying two men or two women, or any configuration of the sexes can’t be married, is totally beyond me. What business is it of anyone’s but the people involved, and perhaps their children. Happiness and love are hard enough to find.
Tolerance, I’m not a big fan of the world. I tolerate my neighbors dog. Respect is a whole nother animal. Acceptance another. Ronna said it much better than I could.
A really great post. Thank you
Hugs
The one thing that annoys me no end is when the word abomination gets thrown around when religious people are talking about homosexuality.
1. Abomination is a meaningless word in our world today, unless the person using is also doesn’t eat shrimp, pork or a host of other animals we partake of every day, or shaves, or wears cotton and wool together, or thinks that keeping slaves is okay, or… do I need to go on? READ the bible people, instead of letting others interpret it for you.
2. The bible has a lot more to say about what heterosexuals do wrong and condemns them too. Do you want to live in a world where witches are put to death? Adulterers stoned to death? Where men can beat their wives and children with impunity?
People can dislikes gays all they want, it’s a free country, but at least accept that they are as American as everyone and are entitled to the same rights as everyone or anyone else. And stop trying to enforce religious bigotry on all of us through laws that reflect your hatreds.
Check out this list of ‘abominations’ and tell me how many you follow in a year.
http://www.dragonlordsnet.com/abomination.htm
Maybe thinking this issue shouldn’t be a religious issue at all is naïve, but no one in my opinion should be quoting scriptures as a reason to participate or not participate in homosexuality. My reason for this, if we’re quoting scriptures, then we ALL have sinned and I don’t want to be judged and damned for my sins any more than the next person. Because I’ve sinned, does that mean I’m not entitled to happiness? And who are the Christians to tell people they don’t have the right to be happy because they don’t “approve” of a life-style! So, yes, I think gays should be allowed to marry, should be allowed to have all the rights of heterosexuals.
Okay, so ditching the religion theme, my best friend of over twenty years recently divorced her husband and decided she was a lesbian. At first I was shocked, but my first thought was never that she was an abomination. I had my issues with it at first, but once I had time to accept the sudden about-face, I discovered many things about myself. One, I wasn’t willing to lose her friendship for any reason. I love her. She’s been my best friend for over twenty, how could I throw that away because she desires a woman over a man? And the thought that kept going through my head was what made it so wrong anyway? This is love, not two women committing murder. Secondly, who the hell was I to tell her she didn’t have the right to be happy? The man she had married sure wasn’t making her happy and was abusive to-boot. I couldn’t stand him, hated the joker to be honest. I was happy she’d gotten away from him. At least the woman respected her and treated her right. Third, it wasn’t like she was asking me to participate in her bedroom activities. I think I thought it would make things weird between us, her liking women, me being a woman, but how stupid was that!?! She is my best friend, my soul sister, she would never in a million years be attracted to a straight woman she thought of as a family member. Silly worry really and her conversion to lesbianism (is that even a word?) has not changed the dynamics of our relationship at all.
I’m not sure I’ve made a lick of sense, but my point…I’m from the deep south, the Bible belt, and being gay is not popular at all, but this southern thinks gays should have all the same rights as heterosexuals, and thinks your sexual preference shouldn’t matter and shouldn’t identify a person. But then if the world came to me with all their problems, we wouldn’t have any problems! I’d solve them all peacefully, lovingly and in a motherly fashion.
Thought provoking topic, Glen! I added your blog link to my blog, btw. Thanks for adding mine to yours! Congrats on your new book coming out with Noble! It’s an exciting event!
Very interesting Blog, Glen. I often wonder why people think they need to intrude on other people’s personal lives. We all have our needs,and our wants when it comes to relationships, and I hardly feel I’m qualified to judge another person’s choices. Hopefully,they will respect mine if I respect theirs.
Congrats on your upcoming release!